A Cold Boston Evening
by proser132
Summary: The short but ample story of two yaoi stars and the effects of roughly two cold boston evenings.


His lips ghosted over the skin on the older man's neck, and he shivered.

"Nar-na-"

"Hush," The blond one said, looming over the raven-haired ones body like an incubus released from the depths of hell. "You agreed, so lay back and take it like a good boy." His mouth finally closed on the flesh, and his teeth pressed lightly against his throat. The blonde's legs tightened around the elder's hips, and the black-haired man's back arched.

"Cut!" The director yelled. Naruto looked up and stood unblushingly.

"What?"

"You're not passionate enough! Today's audience like _love_ thrown in with their sex! Take ten!" He pinched the bridge of his nose and stalked off. Naruto turned and helped his co-star up. He shook his head.

"We're going to be working on this movie for the rest of our lives," Naruto said uncomfortably.

"I know," Sasuke replied, rubbing the back of his neck as he pulled his shirt back on. "It seems we've been working on the opening sequence for three days."

"It's been two hours, Sasuke, not three days." Naruto corrected as they walked to the green room. He grabbed a water and threw another to the older.

"It _feels_ like three days when you have somebody biting your neck," Sasuke grumbled. "Especially when it's our fourth movie together." He opened the bottle and took a long drink.

Sasuke and Naruto starred in the popular series Ninjas in Action, a gaudy title for an equally idiotic story. Neither agreed with the title's obviousness, or the blandness of the plot, but it paid well and they needed the jobs. An uneasy partnership in the beginning, they had grown into some of the closest friends.

Y'know, other than the sex-for-money gig.

"How many more do you think they're going to make us do?" Naruto said, scratching his lower stomach. Sasuke still had a sense of dignity about him, and pulled his shirt on between takes (except the sex ones - he was too sweaty), but Naruto no longer bothered; it was a waste of time.

"Who knows? Not too many more, I hope." Sasuke shrugged. They both maintained an extremely calm outward persona for porn stars.

"Okay, take twenty-six!" The director called. Naruto started.

"We've got seven minutes!"

"Well, we're ready now!" He roared. Naruto rolled his eyes and winked at his co-star.

"Are you ready to go make out now?"

"Shut up," Sasuke smacked him and they walked onto the dark set to have sex for the sixth time that day.

Naruto couldn't remember a more tiring workday in his entire career. As he slid behind the wheel of his car, he turned to Sasuke, who was waiting to be driven home. He didn't bother with getting a license, when Naruto could drive him places.

"How many times was it today?" Naruto asked, turning the key in the ignition.

"I lost count after the eleventh," Sasuke replied wearily. Naruto grinded gears by accident in surprise.

"Eleven? I could have sworn it was less…" Naruto said, putting the car in reverse and driving out of the crowded paring lot onto the highway.

"That's because you weren't bottoming for once," Sasuke answered grumpily, wincing as the car hit a bounce. "I'm going to be sore all weekend…"

"After you've bottomed, it gets a lot easier. It was your first time." Naruto shrugged. "By the second movie, I was over it."

"Completely?" Sasuke said interestedly.

"Yeah, it was completely platonic." Naruto shrugged. "It still felt good, but it wasn't such a shock."

"Felt good?" Sasuke teased.

"Uh, _yeah_, just because it's sex with _you_ doesn't it's not _sex_." Naruto rolled his eyes and poked him without taking his eyes off the road. "Don't think so highly of yourself."

"What about being on top?" Sasuke asked, genuinely curious.

"_Still_ sex, Sasuke, still sex." Naruto sighed. "Of course it felt good - the quality just went down after the sixth or seventh time. Then I had to gather every shred of acting ability I have -"

"Which _still_ isn't enough to land you a part in any other series," Sasuke said dryly.

"- ignoring you - and pretend to enjoy it." Naruto pulled into Sasuke's drive. He lived in a tiny house just outside of Boston's suburbs, painted dark blue and standing out starkly from the white and tan houses that were three or fours sizes bigger.

"See you tomorrow?" Naruto said without thinking.

"No, tomorrow's my day off. What're you working on?"

"You know. Actually, I have an appointment with an editor." Naruto was an aspiring writer (and a damn good one), but was constantly turned down on account of his current employment.

"Good luck, okay?" Sasuke said, climbing out of the car. His cell rang and he looked at it uncomfortably. "Not again…"

"Don't bother picking up, he doesn't know you moved." Naruto reassured. Sasuke still looked nervous.

"You want to stay here tonight?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." His voice sounded slightly shaky though.

As Naruto drove off, he was nervous. Sasuke's last boyfriend, a tool of the highest degree, had stalked him for a few months before Sasuke had moved. He still called him, but with the move Sasuke couldn't afford a new phone.

Even as he turned off into his own driveway, Naruto could not suppress a feeling of unease. If he had known there was a GPS on Sasuke's cell, he would have been even more worried.

"What do you want?" Sasuke hissed.

"To talk, babe. Just talk to me!"

"No, Orichimaru! I have had enough of you - you followed me, you attacked me, and I have had enough!" He hung up.

Orichimaru, having called Sasuke on his computer, smiled at the dot blinking on the map.

"Gotcha."

On Monday, Naruto pulled into Sasuke's drive where a more frazzled than usual Sasuke waited, shivering. It was a cold day for November.

"What's up?" Naruto asked as Sasuke clambered into the warm cab of the sedan.

"N-nothing. It's fucking _cold_." Sasuke chattered out.

"It's in the teens."

"I locked myself out of the house."

"Oh. Usuratonkachi." Naruto patted his head affectionately and laughed when he snarled.

"How did you do with the appointment?" Sasuke said as soon as he was warm enough. Naruto's face hardened and he focused on the road.

"Same old, same old." He replied through gritted teeth. Sasuke nodded, rubbing the conjunction between Naruto's neck and his shoulder.

"You'll be okay," Sasuke said bracingly. "You'll find somebody to publish that damn book, despite the crap you go through for a living."

"That's what pisses me off!" Naruto seethed. "Isn't doing that technically illegal in Massachusetts?"

"Have any of them _said _that?" Sasuke asked.

"Nope." Naruto said with a sigh. They fell silent as Naruto pulled the car in to the studio's parking lot and kill the engine.

"You ready?" Naruto asked.

"I'm healed, I think." Sasuke said wryly, and they went in.

Naruto and Sasuke could barely walk out to the car. "Dear god - did you have to be so aggressive that third take?" Sasuke asked, rubbing his lower back.

"If I wanted to keep my job, I did," Naruto replied. Changing the subject to Sasuke's house, he said, "I'll want my key back before you go inside, though."

"So why do you have a key to my house again?"

"So that the only two aren't in your possession. And be thankful!" Naruto snorted. "You'd have to spend the night at my house - again, I might add - if I didn't have the key!"

"Are you ever going to let it drop?" Sasuke bemoaned, shutting the car door behind him a little harder than he meant to.

"No. Not while you continue to slam my doors." Naruto sniffed. "Now, will you let me drive, please?"

"Only because I want to get home, and tomorrow's going to kill me."

"Tomorrow's the last shoot, and then as far as I know, you're on top again." Naruto rolled his eyes as Sasuke sank back into his seat sighing with relief.

"You're just too much of a Seme to take bottoming, huh?" Naruto muttered. Beside him Sasuke nodded.

"But for an established uke, you aren't that bad," Sasuke reassured, "But I need to be on top to feel anything."

"Uh huh. I don't think that last moan was as fake as you'd like to think," Naruto grumbled, insulted. "It takes two to tango and -"

"Oh, shit. Don't pull into my driveway." Sasuke sank even lower so not a tuft of black hair was visible through the windows.

"What? Why?" He looked at the house and almost stomped on the brake when he saw Sasuke's ex, Orichimaru, waiting outside on the porch.

"Fucking psycho…" Naruto snarled, driving straight past him without looking. Orichimaru didn't even blink, but ignored the car.

"Get me out of here, okay?" Sasuke said quietly, beginning to sit up.

"You got it," Naruto murmured. He pressed the accelerator to the floor as soon as they were out of sight.

"Sorry about that," Sasuke apologized as he made to kip on the couch. Naruto's apartment was tiny, but considerably better furnished.

"What? Oh! No, not your fault. I'll drive by tomorrow and if he's still waiting I'll call the police." Naruto shrugged as he began to brush his teeth in the bathroom.

"Thanks." Sasuke collapsed on the couch, almost asleep before he hit the pillow. Naruto rinsed his mouth out and walked over, tousling Sasuke's hair affectionately.

"No thanks needed," He half-murmured, half-whispered. "It's what lovers do for each other, right?"

Naruto had discovered (somewhere during the production of their second movie) that he had more than friendly feelings for the sable-headed man. You couldn't form lasting relationships with your partners, because of the porn industry's constant competition, so he let it go. He still liked him way more than he should have, but he had accepted that Sasuke didn't like him that way and that the sex was to be platonic.

He managed it, somehow; but he hated it when Sasuke had to spend the night. It took a lot to sleep a room away and not want him.

Sasuke woke up in a cold sweat. He looked at the clock, only to find it eleven-twenty-two, and went to the bathroom to relieve himself.

"Jeez," he murmured, washing his hands at the sink and looking at himself in the mirror. "I look old." And indeed, he looked very tired; but that's what doing four movies in a year will do to a person. He was still handsome - otherwise the movie would replace him - but he looked a hell of a lot older than nineteen. He had been thrown into adulthood with all the force of a typhoon - meeting and dating Orichimaru, the psycho, working with Naruto; it was a lot.

Walking out of the bathroom, he stumbled into Naruto, who yawned.

"Whose there?" Naruto said guardedly.

"It's just me, Sasuke," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes though Naruto couldn't see them. In the darkness, they subconsciously stood closer than they normally would have.

"What are you doing up?" Sasuke asked.

"Actually, I was hungry," came the sheepish reply. "I fell asleep before I could eat. You want in?"

Sasuke only realized then how famished he was. "What do you want?" He said.

"Eh, I'm making ramen, but if you want something else feel free to get it," Naruto yawned again, cracking his jaw.

"You have anything else?" Sasuke questioned, surprised.

"Haha… no, not really." Naruto muttered, turning on the gas stove. He turned and sat at the tiny two-person table, blinking blearily and yawning again.

"Are you sure you're hungry? You look more exhausted." Sasuke said concernedly. Naruto shrugged.

"Having sex all day can do that to a person," Naruto groaned. He rubbed his neck and yawned for the final time before standing up and turning off the gas stove. "Fuck it, I'll eat in the morning," He said, trudging off into his room. Sasuke laughed quietly in the back of his throat. _What an odd friendship I've entered into,_ he thought.

When Naruto woke up, he knew something was wrong. He stood and got dressed, walking out of his room asking, "Sasuke…?"

There was no one there. Instead, on the table was a note.

_Hello, Naruto.  
It seems you are far chummier with my Sasuke than I thought. But you made a critical mistake -  
you left the door unlocked.  
__When Sasuke didn't come home last night, I was worried, and came to your home. And who is asleep on the couch but my beautiful Sasuke?  
Don't bother trying to find us. We are happy without you._

At the bottom of the note was a tiny snake's head, stamped in the same black ink that the note was written with.

"Orichimaru…" Naruto seethed. The pale-skinned man had gone too far - he had resorted to _kidnapping_ Sasuke.

Naruto finished getting dressed, called in absent to the movie, and stuck his .22 magnum that he had bought about a day after Orichimaru first attacked Sasuke in his coat pocket.

He'd be damned if he was going to let his best friend be raped and killed. Especially by this asshole.

When Sasuke woke up, on the other hand, he didn't sense anything wrong for a few seconds, other than an uncomfortable tightness around his wrists and ankles and the slight rocking of what seemed to be a car.

When he sat up, he realized he was, in fact, in the backseat of a car, one that was all too familiar. A stab of fear made his stomach cramp as he looked at his wrists. They were bound with plastic twine, as were his ankles.

"Orichimaru…" He hissed.

"Yeah, babe?" A pale man with long, black hair and purple makeup on his eyes said from the driver's seat. Sasuke froze.

"What the hell is going on?" He roared, regaining his body movement. Orichimaru shrugged.

"I missed you," he explained. "And you didn't come home, so I decided to try your friend's house."

"Naruto?" The icy feeling of fear was overcoming the blaze of anger within Sasuke; he knew Orichimaru all too well. If he had hurt Naruto - or if he -

"Yeah, that's the one!" Orichimaru replied cheerfully. "Left him a note explaining everything. We're going to stop at your house, pick up some of your stuff, and then we'll head out."

"Where the hell are you taking me?" Sasuke didn't recognize any of the surroundings.

"We're in New York right now, but we're headed back to Boston. Then, we'll take a flight out to Ontario -"

"What?!" Sasuke shouted. This psycho was taking him _where_?

"- and from there we're flying to Beijing."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Sasuke hollered. "_Beijing_?! Who the fuck are we running from? You fucking psycho, when I'm found missing you'll be the first person they'll suspect -"

"Unless we're both gone mysteriously," Orichimaru said smugly. He took his right hand off the steering wheel and raised it; it was heavily bandaged. "I sliced my arm, and made it look as if I struggled from my apartment. No one will suspect that I took you if it looks like I'm dead." He sounded so proud of himself.

Sasuke gaped in horror, struggling against his bonds. "How do you justify this to yourself?"

"I don't. It's all for you." Orichimaru looked at him though the rear-view mirror. "I love you."

Sasuke had never heard a more twisted form of the word love.

Naruto raced to Sasuke's house after calling the police and reporting a kidnapping, not at all surprised to find no one there. It looked like no one had been there since the day before. He unlocked the door and went inside, surprised to find nothing amiss. It was unnaturally clean, in fact (though he knew Sasuke was a neat freak). He sat down on the couch, shivering. The heat was off.

A car pulled into the drive and he sat up. He had parked a good way down the road, and he hurried to conceal himself as the door was unlocked. He could hear shuffling, as if someone could only move their feet so far, and a laugh he hadn't heard for months.

Naruto froze as he recognized Orichimaru's voice, and crouched lower behind the bureau in Sasuke's room.

"Come on, love," Orichimaru was saying. "We've got a flight to catch."

"Fuck you," Sasuke said (typically). Naruto resisted the urge to leap out and shoot Orichimaru dead; he could see the automatic rifle cradled in his arm.

"I'd love to, but - you know what? We have the time," Orichimaru grinned.

"No, that's not what I meant. Shouldn't we go catch our flight?" Sasuke sounded nervous now.

"Nah, we can always buy new tickets," Orichimaru assured him.

Sasuke shivered, backing away from Orichimaru. When they had been dating, he had refused to have sex because of his job (and this was one of the many reasons - foremost being that Orichimaru was insane - that the relationship fizzled). As his ex advanced slowly, Sasuke reflected that perhaps it could have been Naruto that held him back. He loved his job, and he had always had a sneaking suspicion that it had less to do with the sex and more to do with his blond co-star. Naruto always played his parts beautifully - as if he really meant it, but there was enough nonchalance that Sasuke discredited this theory.

Orichimaru tackled him, sending him flying onto his bed with the older man on top of him. Orichimaru straddled him and sat up.

"This will be fun," the pale-skinned man said, licking his lips. There was the click of a gun being cocked and Orichimaru paused, smile still on his face.

"Like hell it will," A new voice said. "Get the fuck off of him." There was a resounding crack and Orichimaru froze.

"Damn…" He murmured, before falling forward onto Sasuke and dripping blood on him. He was dead, a shot through the back into the heart.

"Hey, Sasuke." Naruto said, pocketing his gun. "I'd untie you, but we need to prove that he kidnapped you." He pulled out his cell and pressed three buttons. "Hi, emergency response? This is Naruto Uzamaki, the one who reported the kidnapping. I need police over at…" He gave the address and explained that he shot Orichimaru in defense of Sasuke.

Ten minutes later, two policemen came. Naruto calmly and patiently explained the story from the beginning, including everything, and also explained that he shot Orichimaru because the man was armed, about to rape his friend, and much larger than Naruto.

The ambulance pulled up a few moments later and looked Sasuke and Naruto over before carting the body of Orichimaru out of the home. Sasuke was silent throughout everything; he was in shock. He had honestly thought that he would never see anyone ever again, much less Naruto calmly talk his way out of a manslaughter charge.

Four hours later, after further questioning, Naruto and Sasuke were driving to Naruto's house. There were no charges pressed on either man, and it was obvious that Sasuke was only starting to be hit with the magnitude that almost happened. It was silent for a long time in the car.

"Are you okay?" Naruto asked. Sasuke looked at him, surprised.

"…yeah." Sasuke answered slowly. He was visibly shaken.

"I called the office while the EMT was checking on you, and the studio agreed to let you have a few days." Naruto did not add that it almost cost him his job.

"Ack! We'll fall out of practice!" Sasuke joked weakly. Naruto pulled into the parking space in front of his building and killed the engine.

They sat in silence, comfortable and yet awkward.

"Why did you go to my house looking for me?" Sasuke asked finally.

"I didn't think Orichimaru would be stupid enough to go there again, but I had to try." Naruto shrugged. "You're my best friend." _But I wish you were more…_

"Hmm…" Sasuke said. He looked at Naruto, who was clenching and unclenching his hands on the steering wheel.

"You going to be okay?" Sasuke looked worried. "You need to relax, it's over." Something occurred to him, but he shoved it away.

"Yeah, let's go." He started to open his door.

"Naruto." Sasuke said without thinking. Naruto paused and looked at him.

"Wha -"

Sasuke kissed him on the lips, leaning across the center console. Naruto blinked, then Sasuke pulled back.

"Thank you," He said, going red and looking away. He opened his door and got out.

Naruto followed Sasuke inside hurriedly, having to practically run up the stairs to keep up with him. He stopped him outside his door on the top floor (the elevator was broken.)

"What was that?" He asked.

Sasuke turned red again. "I am not in the mood to embarrass myself more." He opened the door to Naruto's apartment. Naruto followed again, closing the door behind him.

"Sasuke…" He said, hand catching the black-haired man's wrist. Sasuke's eyes shot to the hand and followed the arm with his eyes, up past the shoulder, tracing the neck, until he was looking directly at Naruto.

"What?" He asked, more roughly than he meant to sound.

Naruto pulled him forward quickly, pressing his mouth to Sasuke's with something akin to affection, deeper and surer, but sweeter. Sasuke only resisted for a second, surprised; then he relaxed and kissed back.

It was the first time they had just kissed, onscreen and off, and they were startled that they almost enjoyed it more. Sasuke pulled Naruto against him, backing up until he was against the couch. Naruto followed, protesting slightly every time their lips became unconnected. Naruto braced his knees on either side of Sasuke's hips, unconsciously imitating the opening scene of their movie, and kissed him openmouthed, which Sasuke responded to happily.

The tenderness was new to both; Sasuke couldn't remember anything sweeter than Naruto pressed against him and their lips joined.

Naruto's hand slid down Sasuke's shoulders and back as he pressed Sasuke until they were lying on the couch lengthwise.

"Sasuke…" He whispered. His other hand, the one not keeping him from collapsing on Sasuke totally, slid between them and gripped the hem of Sasuke's shirt. That he would be ready so soon after his ordeal was startling, but Sasuke ignored the voice in his head.

"Naruto." Sasuke answered, knowing what he was asking.

They sat up, Naruto's lower back pressed to Sasuke's hips and back to the older's knees. The blond pulled Sasuke's shirt off, eyes caressing the body he knew so well. This was no where near the first time, but it felt like it. Sasuke reached out and pulled Naruto's shirt over his head, hands instantly beginning to find the spots he knew Naruto liked. One hand traced Naruto's hip bone over and over, brushing against the scant blonde hairs showing barely over the top of Naruto's jeans, and the other ran up the bunched muscles in the blond's stomach to toy with the small nipples.

Naruto moved against the hands, his own beginning to touch Sasuke. He leaned as close as he could without obstructing Sasuke's hands and ran his tongue along the raven-haired man's jaw line.

"N-Naruto…" Sasuke breathed. He bared his throat to the smaller man, who pressed his teeth to the side. He nipped a tiny bit at the collarbone, licking the spot and doing it again. He could feel Sasuke growing larger between his own legs, and he smiled.

"Dibs on uke," he murmured into Sasuke's ear. He allowed his hands to follow Sasuke's pelvic line, playing slightly with the length hidden by denim. It swelled under his fingers, and he felt his body responding.

"Aw, and I was just getting used to it," Sasuke said, flipping them as gently as he could. He kissed Naruto's chest, tongue flicking out to the kernels that hardened under his attentions.

"Darn," Naruto gasped out. Sasuke fiddled with the buttons on Naruto's pants. "Wait," he said abruptly. Sasuke paused. "Do we really want to do this _here_?"

"_I_ don't have any objections, but if you want to go in your room…" Sasuke replied easily. He kissed Naruto again, tongue entering his mouth, and stood. Naruto followed quickly, lips obviously eager to stay in contact with Sasuke's. The taller opened the door behind him, stepping backward and turning them so that when they fell on the bed, Naruto was underneath him.

"Top drawer," Naruto murmured, indicating his nightstand. Sasuke opened it and pulled out a bottle, eyebrow raised. Naruto shrugged. "Tools of the trade," he continued as he took it from Sasuke. He set it aside and unbuttoned Sasuke's jeans and boxers, which Sasuke kicked away before turning his attention to Naruto's undergarments. In seconds, they were both completely naked and panting with the exertion of holding back.

Sasuke played with Naruto, fingers skillfully toying with the end and swiping the slit with his forefinger. He smiled as Naruto's hips arched against his hand, and kissed the now panting man.

"More…" Naruto gasped out. His hands slid down Sasuke's stomach and encircled him, pulling a little.

Sasuke had been having sex with Naruto for months, but it was nothing compared to this. Naruto's fingers glided up and down his length, jerking it occasionally. Sasuke pulled away regretfully. Naruto grasped the bottle and poured some of the contents on his hand, rubbing it on Sasuke. The warming liquid made Sasuke's body convulse.

He took some of the liquid from Naruto's hands and rubbed it on his fingers, inserting one into Naruto's entrance. A second and a third followed; he knew how to handle Naruto, playing with him as he went.

"Ready?" he murmured raggedly, hand closing around Naruto, who moaned in answer. In one thrust of his hips he was inside of Naruto, who keened.

"See? After a while, it's a lot easier," Naruto said, bracing himself against the headboard. Sasuke pulled out slowly, then thrust back in, recalling where Naruto's sweet spot was. He grazed it, and Naruto's hips slammed into his own.

"It's been a while, hasn't it," Naruto moaned out. Sasuke rolled his eyes and kissed him, shutting him up. Their hips and bodies danced like they never had before; there was love evident in their caresses now.

Naruto flipped them mid-thrust, surprising Sasuke as he began to move against him. Sasuke groaned, thrusting up, knowing it was close to the end.

"Ready?" He asked; Naruto answered by pressing even closer. Sasuke flipped them again, hitching Naruto's knees above his hips. He went deeper, and harder; Naruto moaned and moved his hips at the increased pace, back arching as he came on Sasuke's chest.

Sasuke, surprised, released into Naruto; for a few seconds, their hips were frenzied, but they collapsed against each other as the passion dissipated.

They breathed in time, chests rising and falling, and Sasuke pulled out. He moved to allow Naruto to get up; he went into the bathroom and returned with a damp washcloth. They cleaned themselves and lay for a few minutes more, breathing.

Sasuke's mind was blown. He had no idea that Naruto's passions could drive him that far, to do those things to him. He turned to the man lying beside them, and was surprised to see that Naruto had been studying him.

He leaned forward impulsively and kissed Naruto again, who responded likewise. Their tongues moved together, touching tentatively and then exploring the other's mouth.

"Wanna go again?" Naruto asked as they separated. Sasuke stared. So soon?

Naruto's hand brushed against his lower stomach, and he felt a burst of heat flood his entire body. He wanted Naruto again.

"Why not?"

"Wow, guys," The director said a few days later. "I don't even want to know _how _you spent your impromptu vacation, but you guys nailed it. That's a wrap, everyone!" He shouted. Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other for a second. And then they laughed so hard that it took several days for them to not look at each other randomly and begin to laugh again.

A few months later, Sasuke and Naruto quit the porno business, as Naruto was signed on by a publisher interested in his newest project. Sasuke got a job as a male model for Calvin Klein, despite his previous employment and orientation. Naruto quickly became known for his quirky writing style and his book, _A Cold Boston Evening_, became an instant bestseller. His critics were even awed, proclaiming that he had to have lived though those events to be able to write like that.

And of Sasuke and Naruto?

They stayed together, oblivious to any ups and downs other than in their sex life, and then only literally. They were legally married in Vermont the next May, and when asked how they maintained what seemed to be the perfect marriage, they just smiled.

Maybe it was the sex two or three times a day. Or, perhaps, it was the heated arguments that somehow always turned _into_ sex. Who knows?


End file.
